Intended Parents: How to Know Your Surrogate

Surrogacy is a big decision, not only for the surrogate but also the intended parents. It’s important to make sure you find a great match. The CACRM doctor-led Surrogacy Program ensures that intended parents are matched with the healthiest surrogate possible with a similar lifestyle, personality and values. We want you and your surrogate to get off to a great start.

Getting to know your surrogate

After selecting a surrogate, you will have the opportunity to meet her to make sure she’s the one. Here are a few things that can help you and your surrogate get to know each other a little better:

• Relax
  For many intended parents, meeting a surrogate is a big step in their long fertility journey. It can be filled with a lot of joy, excitement, nervousness, stress and even worry. Try to take a few deep breaths and remember there will be time to make your final decision once the meeting is over.
• Think of conversation starters
  While you’re likely to have a lot of questions for your surrogate, try your best to keep the conversation light and flowing with open-ended questions aimed at getting to know her better. Keep in mind each surrogate has been through the CACRM intake process and a psychological evaluation before you meet, so those bases are covered.
• Be present and mindful
  Try your best to minimize distractions for the meeting. This is a very exciting day and most parents are excited to get started, so make the most of it!

Supporting your surrogate during pregnancy

Once you’ve decided to move forward with your surrogate, you’ll have the opportunity to meet with her throughout the pregnancy as well. There is also plenty of opportunity to help her along the way, such as:

• Housework
  Pregnancy can make it difficult to do all of the things that keep a home running. Since surrogates typically are already mothers, they would appreciate any help along the way. But, if cleaning house isn’t your cup of tea, try arranging a housekeeper to visit your surrogate’s home once every few weeks.
• Meals
  Help your surrogate stay rested, healthy and happy with a night off from cooking! Ask her for her favorite restaurant or delivery service and send over a meal.
• Relaxation
  Pregnancy comes with its own set of aches and pains. Help her feel relaxed and comfortable by sending her for a prenatal massage. Or, if she’s active, maybe she’d like prenatal yoga classes instead. She will undoubtedly appreciate the extra effort to make sure she’s as comfortable as possible!

If you are interested in learning more about the CACRM surrogacy program, please call 760-274-2000.