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How Do I Select a Surrogate Mother?

How do I select a surrogate mother

“How do I select a surrogate mother?” may be the first question you ask yourself when you and your partner realize you need surrogacy to fulfill your dreams of having a baby.

Choosing a surrogate will be one of the most important decisions you make. Not only will your surrogate mother bring your child into this world, but she will be a vital partner in an intensely emotional, challenging, and rewarding experience. You will want to ensure that you carefully screen the woman who will play such a major role in your life and have full confidence and trust in her

Factors to consider when selecting a surrogate mother

A surrogate mother must be medically-appropriate

First and foremost, your surrogate mother must meet all the clinical requirements to maximize her chances of getting pregnant through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in as few attempts as possible, have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy, and undergo an uncomplicated delivery.

As a physician-directed surrogacy program, CACRM has developed an extensive set of criteria that guides our ability to find the most medically- appropriate candidates. You can read about the checklist we use to screen potential surrogacy candidates. 

Reasons for becoming a surrogate mother

Applicants will outline why they want to become surrogate mothers, often in an essay or personal letter describing their motivations and intent. Some had friends or relatives who experienced infertility, which left a lasting impression. For many, being a surrogate has been a life-long dream. All candidates must enjoy pregnancy but have finished building their own families. They may want to experience another pregnancy, but don’t want to raise any more children.

Though the surrogacy compensation package may be a consideration in a woman’s candidacy, it should not be the primary reason.

Support network

A surrogate mother should either be living with a spouse or partner or have a support network of friends or family members who can help her if she needs to go on bedrest or require other assistance during the surrogate pregnancy.

Independent source of income

CACRM requires prospective surrogate mothers to have an independent source of income, either through a job or a spouse/partner. Carriers earn compensation for their time, effort, and the risk of pregnancy and childbirth. This money can be used as a house down payment, saved for their children’s education, or for another personal reason.


You will want to be compatible with your surrogate mother on issues important to the success of surrogacy, including lifestyle choices during pregnancy, the desire to carry multiple babies, communication styles, and other topics related to pregnancy and childbirth.

Use professionals to find the ideal surrogate mother

Though some intended parents try to find their surrogate independently, we feel the wisest course is to use the services of professionals who have had years of experience in matching gestational carriers with intended parents.

CACRM has an experienced surrogacy team, led by our double-board-certified medical director, Dr. Lori Arnold, to help you find the surrogate mother perfect for your family-building plans.


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